| 2003 | Barbados | Sri Lanka 1995 | S.America 1999 | Miscellany |

Manning-isms


If you've stumbled across this page by accident, you will wonder what in creation this is all about.
Those who have never met Neal Manning have missed one of the modern wonders of the world.

Saved/rescued/archived from www.browns.cc website
by Web Master on 18 October 2002 at 06:50
 
"I'm as stiff as a rusty chicken"

"What was I about to say to myself?"

"The worm can turn very quickly"

"It only takes one day to change a game"

"It's been a hard day for concentration. I've got a stiff neck, from talking to myself"
posted by Geoff Spencer on 05 September 2002 at 22:10
 
Commenting on the away defeat to Maldon, our illustrious captain proclaimed it to be "a moral defeat"
posted by Phil Hamblin on 11 September 2002 at 10:11
 
"Lock the key and bring the door with you"

"I'd better write my own availability down or I'll forget to pick myself again"
posted by Phil Hamblin on 11 September 2002 at 10:13
 
"Ah! The sky's trying to come out"
posted by Geoff Spencer on 15 September 2002 at 09:50
 
"That's a compulsory blow I'm afraid"
posted by Michael Hilton on 29 September 2002 at 21:15
 
"Let's wib the web lads...!"
posted by Michael Hilton on 29 September 2002 at 21:16
 
"Bobby, do you remember my first wife?" "Yes Dad, she's my mother"!
posted by Michael Hilton on 29 September 2002 at 21:17
 
"If only I understood the interweb"!
posted by Michael Hilton on 29 September 2002 at 21:26
 
An old one "As plum (sic) as custard"
posted by Richard Fairbanks on 17 October 2002 at 11:52
 
Portable pc = lapdog
posted by Richard Fairbanks on 17 October 2002 at 11:53
 
"I can't read that - these are my non-eyesight glasses"
posted by Richard Fairbanks on 17 October 2002 at 12:00
 
 
The next bunch are reproduced from the 60th Birthday edition of Manningisms
 
 
From the 'Cricket' section .....
 
"My first game was in 1976 - I've played through four milleniums"

"I was right, wasn't I, in my prognastecration that you couldn't play on Monday?"

"Don't rush off before you go, lads"

"Yes, we've got a lot of young lads on the knocking door"

"Cor, in February you could have played out there on a shirt sleeve"

"I won those quickly, in quite quick succession"

"I can't see, I've lost the blind spot"

"I'm sorry, but someone dropped out so we've had to include our underneath player"

"I couldn't appeal, my breath got jammed"

"Good job it was Mobbsie, because he's longer"

"We are full of depth today"

"I stand asunder"

"Catches win matches - but in this case they didn't"

"Chris Davies wears big feet!"

"His off-spin will break up the variation"

"Can I have some more pork please?" (Waitress:)"It's duck, sir" "Oh good, I like duck"

"Sorry lads - too much port at lunchtime. I can't get acomatosed"

(from the 60th Birthday edition)
 
 
.. and from the 'General' section .....
 
"You either die by the sword or fall by it"

"You need to be getting your teeth between the bullet"

"It was a conversation I bumped into accidentally"

"There's more than one way of stringing a rabbit"

"Don't give me any of that three-cornered bluff"

"Isn't he the bloke who's got muscular dysentery?"

"They're all getting this foot and cow disease"

"There's only three left in the top two"

"I know you're working on a shoebone"

"It rings a bell with a gut feeling"

"I'll know it if you say the answer"

"Everything in life is easy, if you don't know it"

"It's that whole chestnut, isn't it?"

"I walked into a bar last night and said 'Ouch' - that was Henry Cooper - I mean Tommy Cooper"

"They're only cutting a rat to catch a mackerel"

"You can take what he says with a pinch of ice"

"I've just had a thought as I'm speaking"

"It's no sweat off my back"

"I feel all right at this moment in talking"

"You're my ace in the spade"

"What time of day is the eclipse? Or is it at night?"

"I've been playing a golf knockout competition - got knocked out!"

"We had to do a duet - me, Bobby and him!"

"Late October, when the clocks are on!"

"As they say, ignorance is bliss - and I'm bliss"

"The way he went on about it, I felt like Chris Columbus discovering the new planet"

"I wouldn't work for that bloke if he was the last man on the moon"

"This is a suspicious occasion for me"

"Tommy, your fantasy league is like taking candy from a gift horse"

"I didn't know that. It's filled me with total blankness"

"I put my mind there and it was there"

"I'm not a sustained champagne drinker, if you know what I mean"

(from the 60th Birthday edition)
 
 
Manning in ...
| 2003 | Barbados | Sri Lanka 1995 | S.America 1999 | Miscellany |